Just the other day, Carnegie Mellon University announced plans to allow co-eds to live together in the same room. At first hearing, I was confused because the story was leading me to believe that they were going to allow for co-ed dorms. Not true - the proposal is for co-educational living spaces. Male and female in the same room!?
Call me old fashioned, but I think this is a bad idea!
Maybe the argument is just a continuation of a trend in our institutions of higher education, but I thought that the current trend would have been a good place to stop. I remember hearing that co-ed dorms were the trendy thing to do. People flipped out over males living on one floor and women living on another. I don't have a problem with that one.
Side bar - I laugh when I remember the first time I came home from College with a new style of underwear. I left home with the classic JCPenney Briefs, but returned with a whole basket full of colorful new boxers. Never mind the full explanation of the choice - but I took great joy giving my mother a stroke by telling her it was because "the women liked them better!" Sorry - I digress!
Then there was co-ed by hall. In other words, one hall of males might be separated by a door, or a stairwell. Males had their own bathrooms, females their own, each on their respective halls. That was my experience in college. Third Floor Baldwin was co-ed by hall. Some of my dearest friends were females from the next hall. I don't have a problem with this one either.
Shortly after I graduated, the college moved to some buildings that were co-ed by room. In other words, a male room maybe adjacent to a female room on the same hall. Ok, so you run into the difficulty of bathrooms on different halls, but when modesty clashes with this ideal, you simply wear a robe! Yes - it pushes the envelope, but I guess I justified this one by saying that young adults will soon be moving into living situations in apartment complexes when they will live next to people or roommates of the opposite sex. I didn't have a problem with this.
Carnegie Mellon prides themselves on being a one of the finest institutions in the nation - but I think they failed to think this one through. Women and men go through too many changes at this point in their lives to place this as just another stupid decision that they have to make. We struggle to place boundaries in life so that we can make intelligent choices, and yet this one was removed. Some might argue that this is not about "sex." It may not be right now, but human nature will take over and then what?
Personally, I don't know how many parents who are footing the bill for college are going to fly with this one. I know I would not, and you can guess where my parents would stand based upon the earlier story.
Call me old fashioned, modest, a prude, but I think this is an egregious crossing of the moral and justifiable boundaries that we should be upholding as a people.
The apostle Paul once wrote, "do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed . . ."
I know, I know, I conformed when the ladies told me I should ditch the JCPenney brand while I was in the laundry room, but I don't want to conform to CMU's morality experiment.
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9 comments:
For EVERY 18 or 19 year old young man, it's all about the sex (well, if not EVERY, then certainly MOST). It was for me, and I was (I think) a pretty good kids overall. So anyone who thinks that this isn't about sex and access to it is denying reality.
The question is: since it IS about sex, what (if anything) should one do about it?
Good points Greg. First of all, I kept my tightie whities and continue to wear them to this day. (I know, TMI!) Just because you may have "conformed" at some point doesn't make it right and doesn't disqualify your opinion that one should not now. If anything, it validates it. A changed, more godly perspective is evidence of a transformed life. I'm with you all the way on this one.
Keith also raises a good question. What should be done about the sexual tempation issue?
Over the last week I've had three conversations with students about "How far is too far?" (One of the highlights of my experience of a youth pastor!) and I can tell you that sex IS the issue!! It's growing more and more difficult to challenge students to Godly lives of sexual purity in a world that is over-sexed and over-stimulated. Just last week I preached on the Romans 12:1-2 and tried to encourage students to stand out and be different in a world that demands same-ness. This just reminds me again of the challenge and responsibility we face as we disciple students into responsible young adult who refuse to be shaped by the world.
As a mom of three young girls, I am somewhat horrified by CMU's decision. While an RA at college, I had to wrestle through more room mate issues of different genders than any other. I would not have even considered a coed dorm--hall, floor, whatever. This is too much for kids to be challenged and confronted with at the same time so many other life changes are happening. Good people, good girls and boys can do not so good things when its right there in front of them.
To my husband, who wrote the blog that opened up conversation @briefs vs. tightie whities, I agree with you 100%. Our girls will be in an all girls dorm.
The CMU thing bothers me because I know what I was like at 18. It was all about sex. Any young man who says differently is deceiving himself (and others). Any young girl who says, "But he really loves me; he's not like that," is headed for heartbreak.
The decision is simply to make students happy by granting them greater access to sex. So, other than telling our kids, "You're not going to school there" (which I will happily do), what do we do?
How can we as the Church take a stand?
Tracy,
You're only partly right. Greg didn't open up a discussion about boxers and briefs because nobody else is willing to comment on it!!! So tell us...is he still "going college" or has he reverted to childhood?
Just a quick side note...I've been working with some of the Nooma videos by Rob Bell in Youth Group and this morning I previewed 002 Flame...It's an absolutely fantastic understanding of love, sexuality and the fact that we are all deeply spiritual, deeply complex, deeply sexual people and that it all flows together. I'm still trying to figure out how to use it (It's definately NOT middle school appropriate, but I think that I can use it with High School), but it's really well done and a fantastic resource for the church that's attempting to discuss and understand topics around sex.
Greg, update this blog and quit pretending to be doing real ministry. And btw, thanks for the tip on the skivvies...I may have to try them!
How about "call me updated?"
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