Just the other day, Carnegie Mellon University announced plans to allow co-eds to live together in the same room. At first hearing, I was confused because the story was leading me to believe that they were going to allow for co-ed dorms. Not true - the proposal is for co-educational living spaces. Male and female in the same room!?
Call me old fashioned, but I think this is a bad idea!
Maybe the argument is just a continuation of a trend in our institutions of higher education, but I thought that the current trend would have been a good place to stop. I remember hearing that co-ed dorms were the trendy thing to do. People flipped out over males living on one floor and women living on another. I don't have a problem with that one.
Side bar - I laugh when I remember the first time I came home from College with a new style of underwear. I left home with the classic JCPenney Briefs, but returned with a whole basket full of colorful new boxers. Never mind the full explanation of the choice - but I took great joy giving my mother a stroke by telling her it was because "the women liked them better!" Sorry - I digress!
Then there was co-ed by hall. In other words, one hall of males might be separated by a door, or a stairwell. Males had their own bathrooms, females their own, each on their respective halls. That was my experience in college. Third Floor Baldwin was co-ed by hall. Some of my dearest friends were females from the next hall. I don't have a problem with this one either.
Shortly after I graduated, the college moved to some buildings that were co-ed by room. In other words, a male room maybe adjacent to a female room on the same hall. Ok, so you run into the difficulty of bathrooms on different halls, but when modesty clashes with this ideal, you simply wear a robe! Yes - it pushes the envelope, but I guess I justified this one by saying that young adults will soon be moving into living situations in apartment complexes when they will live next to people or roommates of the opposite sex. I didn't have a problem with this.
Carnegie Mellon prides themselves on being a one of the finest institutions in the nation - but I think they failed to think this one through. Women and men go through too many changes at this point in their lives to place this as just another stupid decision that they have to make. We struggle to place boundaries in life so that we can make intelligent choices, and yet this one was removed. Some might argue that this is not about "sex." It may not be right now, but human nature will take over and then what?
Personally, I don't know how many parents who are footing the bill for college are going to fly with this one. I know I would not, and you can guess where my parents would stand based upon the earlier story.
Call me old fashioned, modest, a prude, but I think this is an egregious crossing of the moral and justifiable boundaries that we should be upholding as a people.
The apostle Paul once wrote, "do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed . . ."
I know, I know, I conformed when the ladies told me I should ditch the JCPenney brand while I was in the laundry room, but I don't want to conform to CMU's morality experiment.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
Being Seen
This week has posed some interesting challenges for family life and ministry. Tuesday and Wednesday brought a winter storm that Western Pennsylvania hasn't seen in several years. School was cancelled and roads were impassable. I am not like most pastors who live sometimes within walking distance to their churches. I live 26 miles away. So the better part of reason caused me to remain at home both days.
Thursday is my day off. However, I went to the office to get some work done. While at the office, I wrote an email and I mentioned that in many ways it was to get some work done, but in other ways it was to be "seen." That single word sparked a back and forth email conversation, and someone even just asked if I would have the "gutts" to write about this.
Why did I do it? Why did I say it? Because in so many ways, I think our ministries are driven by people who live and work in a society that is driven by a time clock. We work in ministry in an annual conference that has a piece published by our Board of Ordained Ministry that says that the typical work week is 50 hours on average. Further, we work in churches that have unrealistic expectations. I think I base this on past experience and the experience of those I work with in ministry. I have actually read evaluations of pastors that said that they were not spending enough time in the office.
To the average bear, that is translated in so many different ways. But at its worst, 50 hours is 50 hours. How you spend those 50 hours is not of concern for them, they just want to know that you've done your job working 50 hours.
To be seen means being seen in the office. Work done outside, in Starbucks, in the home, on the road, at the conference center just doesn't count.
Some of it is guilt. Maybe there is the internal part that judges our performance based upon some of those worldly standards. I will admit to you that I find it hard to work in the home with children running all over the place. Further there are things that just can't get done unless you are there at the desk, in the church . . . being "seen."
I think I have a level head about this because I know that making disciples of Jesus Christ does not happen at a desk, in an office, and simply by being seen. I did get work done on Tuesday and Wednesday preparing for sermons, reading, preparing for Bible study, and checking up on future projects.
Plus the better part of my day was spent ministering to my children, building an igloo, having fun and being seen as part of their lives. For that I am thankful.
Yes, Thursday was my day off and I came into the office to get some work done and to be "seen." Unfortunately, no one saw me except my secretary.
Let me hear your thoughts.
Thursday is my day off. However, I went to the office to get some work done. While at the office, I wrote an email and I mentioned that in many ways it was to get some work done, but in other ways it was to be "seen." That single word sparked a back and forth email conversation, and someone even just asked if I would have the "gutts" to write about this.
Why did I do it? Why did I say it? Because in so many ways, I think our ministries are driven by people who live and work in a society that is driven by a time clock. We work in ministry in an annual conference that has a piece published by our Board of Ordained Ministry that says that the typical work week is 50 hours on average. Further, we work in churches that have unrealistic expectations. I think I base this on past experience and the experience of those I work with in ministry. I have actually read evaluations of pastors that said that they were not spending enough time in the office.
To the average bear, that is translated in so many different ways. But at its worst, 50 hours is 50 hours. How you spend those 50 hours is not of concern for them, they just want to know that you've done your job working 50 hours.
To be seen means being seen in the office. Work done outside, in Starbucks, in the home, on the road, at the conference center just doesn't count.
Some of it is guilt. Maybe there is the internal part that judges our performance based upon some of those worldly standards. I will admit to you that I find it hard to work in the home with children running all over the place. Further there are things that just can't get done unless you are there at the desk, in the church . . . being "seen."
I think I have a level head about this because I know that making disciples of Jesus Christ does not happen at a desk, in an office, and simply by being seen. I did get work done on Tuesday and Wednesday preparing for sermons, reading, preparing for Bible study, and checking up on future projects.
Plus the better part of my day was spent ministering to my children, building an igloo, having fun and being seen as part of their lives. For that I am thankful.
Yes, Thursday was my day off and I came into the office to get some work done and to be "seen." Unfortunately, no one saw me except my secretary.
Let me hear your thoughts.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Snow Shoveling
Over the past few days, there have been several news stories reminding people of the dangers of snow shoveling. Snow shoveling can be dangerous to anyone because of the amount of energy it takes just to move snow. I heard them warn people that if they were not "in shape" to take it easy out in the snow.
I found out why today when I went out to shovel snow. On top of the several inches of snow that fell yesterday, there had to be a good half inch of ice on top of that! I consider myself a relatively healthy individual, but after that experience today I understand why people die. That was painful!
After that - I had to go and extract our van from its icey tomb.
But what am I complaining about? There are people in upper NY who have been shoveling for over a week straight and have walls of snow surrounding them!
I guess I'll take the ice over 120 inches of snow. Stay safe out there.
I found out why today when I went out to shovel snow. On top of the several inches of snow that fell yesterday, there had to be a good half inch of ice on top of that! I consider myself a relatively healthy individual, but after that experience today I understand why people die. That was painful!
After that - I had to go and extract our van from its icey tomb.
But what am I complaining about? There are people in upper NY who have been shoveling for over a week straight and have walls of snow surrounding them!
I guess I'll take the ice over 120 inches of snow. Stay safe out there.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Wanting More
This morning, I met with my accountability group. We meet every other week on monday mornings. Today, for various reasons, there were two of us missing. However, I was blessed by the conversation and today left the table like I always do. I left wanting more.
If I ended this post with having just said that - you might believe that I was not filled and wish that there would be more to our discussion, but that could not be further from the truth. Every time that I leave our group, I feel as if we leave more because of the clock than because we have accomplished a specific task. That's good in some ways.
I think right now I am filled by the times when I leave wanting more. I say that thinking about some of the best meals that I have ever had. When they are the best is when I leave wanting more. When they are not so good is when you leave feeling so stuffed, that you wish you hadn't eaten so much.
I leave my group wanting more. I look forward to our time together and look forward to our conversation. I think about that in terms of my ministry and the ways in which we can meet in small groups in the church. I want to form groups in the church that not only want to meet together, but have that same experience - leave each other wanting more.
Small group experiences are not about leaving with all of the answers, concluding all of the discussions, leaving the table satisfied, and finishing the episode. I think it's about wanting more. I think it is about having an experience with Christ that leaves us wanting more of him in our lives and in the lives of those with whom we live.
Anyway . . .
If I ended this post with having just said that - you might believe that I was not filled and wish that there would be more to our discussion, but that could not be further from the truth. Every time that I leave our group, I feel as if we leave more because of the clock than because we have accomplished a specific task. That's good in some ways.
I think right now I am filled by the times when I leave wanting more. I say that thinking about some of the best meals that I have ever had. When they are the best is when I leave wanting more. When they are not so good is when you leave feeling so stuffed, that you wish you hadn't eaten so much.
I leave my group wanting more. I look forward to our time together and look forward to our conversation. I think about that in terms of my ministry and the ways in which we can meet in small groups in the church. I want to form groups in the church that not only want to meet together, but have that same experience - leave each other wanting more.
Small group experiences are not about leaving with all of the answers, concluding all of the discussions, leaving the table satisfied, and finishing the episode. I think it's about wanting more. I think it is about having an experience with Christ that leaves us wanting more of him in our lives and in the lives of those with whom we live.
Anyway . . .
Friday, February 9, 2007
Parenthood
I am 36 years old, I am the youngest in my family, I am a son, a brother, a husband, and a father. Because of all of those things in combination, there are times when I don't feel my age, but always feel like the little kid, the youngest, always looking up at others both emotionally, and chronologically. However, as I look at things more and more, the more that I feel like a real parent. Maybe there is a part of me that "doesn't want to grow up" and remain a kid, but then again . . .
I think of all of these things mostly because daily life causes us to pause and think. I argued with my kids today about going to the bus stop with gloves on, and found it amazing that I was now in that position. I offered my parent's advice in recent days unlike any other time in my life and found it amazing that I was in that position. I took my kids ice skating where I used to skate as a kid, and also found it amazing that I was now in that position.
I wouldn't change it for the world - but isn't it amazing how perspectives change as we age and as we move into different phases of our lives. My children are only as old as 8, so I certainly have a lot of perspective to gain!
I'm going to watch Parenthood soon. I haven't seen that movie in a long time, but it is one of my favorites.
This quote sums up the movie. It is the grandmother talking to Gil. I hear this every so often when I think about being a parent. "You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster. . . Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride! I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it. "
I am going to enjoy the weekend as a parent. I have to . . . that's what I am.
I think of all of these things mostly because daily life causes us to pause and think. I argued with my kids today about going to the bus stop with gloves on, and found it amazing that I was now in that position. I offered my parent's advice in recent days unlike any other time in my life and found it amazing that I was in that position. I took my kids ice skating where I used to skate as a kid, and also found it amazing that I was now in that position.
I wouldn't change it for the world - but isn't it amazing how perspectives change as we age and as we move into different phases of our lives. My children are only as old as 8, so I certainly have a lot of perspective to gain!
I'm going to watch Parenthood soon. I haven't seen that movie in a long time, but it is one of my favorites.
This quote sums up the movie. It is the grandmother talking to Gil. I hear this every so often when I think about being a parent. "You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster. . . Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride! I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it. "
I am going to enjoy the weekend as a parent. I have to . . . that's what I am.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Back to School
Finally today, the weather broke enough for our children to return to school. Sure there was a two-hour delay, but at least they went back to school today.
I must be turning into my father, because I catch myself saying things that remind me of things that he used to say. Because the kids could not go outside because of the dangerous temperatures, they are full of energy that can not be burned off easily and they seem to be getting into things like never before. Actually, they always get into things, but I think that it just become readily obvious when they have been cooped up in the house for 4 days straight. Boy - I can't wait till it's at least 20 degrees outside so they can "go out and run some of that energy off."
I think that I was just as ready for them to go back to school and back to their routine, so I could return to mine. Tonight will be good for them as they have church programs and opportunities to connect with friends that they haven't seen in a few days.
So - to say the least, I was happy that they went back to school today. Now if we could only find that report card envelope somewhere in the house that we need to sign and return!
I must be turning into my father, because I catch myself saying things that remind me of things that he used to say. Because the kids could not go outside because of the dangerous temperatures, they are full of energy that can not be burned off easily and they seem to be getting into things like never before. Actually, they always get into things, but I think that it just become readily obvious when they have been cooped up in the house for 4 days straight. Boy - I can't wait till it's at least 20 degrees outside so they can "go out and run some of that energy off."
I think that I was just as ready for them to go back to school and back to their routine, so I could return to mine. Tonight will be good for them as they have church programs and opportunities to connect with friends that they haven't seen in a few days.
So - to say the least, I was happy that they went back to school today. Now if we could only find that report card envelope somewhere in the house that we need to sign and return!
Friday, February 2, 2007
Groundhog Day
It's Groundhog Day! Probably the first thing that comes to mind is not the weather, but the movie. Groundhog Day, staring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell, is one of my favorite movies. I probably saw the movie the first time simply because it was a movie about Western Pennsylvania, but soon fell in love.
Bill Murray happens to be a fantastic comedic actor in my book. And, believe it or not, he happens to appear in many movies that have some very redeeming qualities. I say redeeming quite intentionally. His character, Phil Conners, is redeemed in this movie, saved from the dismal corrosion of his present situation, much like his character in the 1988 movie "Scrooged." The movies have a Frank Capra feel and remind me of movies such as "It's a Wonderful Life."
If you haven't watched it - maybe it would be a good movie to watch this weekend. Temperatures are supposed to hit lows that we have not seen in years. It is a movie about a person who in so many words, hates his current situation and will do everything to make everyone around him feel it. So, stuck in Punxsutawney, he is relegated to living the same day over and over and over again - basically until he gets it right. Initially, he just doesn't care, and tries to manipulate everything. But then he realizes that maybe it is far better to live a life worthy of repentance.
The movie makes me ask, "what would you do if you had to live the same day over and over again?"
But then again, I realize that we don't have to live our lives over and over again, because of God's love for us. He has given us a great gift, Jesus Christ, so that we don't have to live that life of dismal corrosion. Each day is a new day in Christ, and each day is a gift. Which leads me to a more important question . . .
What are you doing with the gift of this day?
That's right, woodchuck-chuckers - it's GROUNDHOG DAY!
Bill Murray happens to be a fantastic comedic actor in my book. And, believe it or not, he happens to appear in many movies that have some very redeeming qualities. I say redeeming quite intentionally. His character, Phil Conners, is redeemed in this movie, saved from the dismal corrosion of his present situation, much like his character in the 1988 movie "Scrooged." The movies have a Frank Capra feel and remind me of movies such as "It's a Wonderful Life."
If you haven't watched it - maybe it would be a good movie to watch this weekend. Temperatures are supposed to hit lows that we have not seen in years. It is a movie about a person who in so many words, hates his current situation and will do everything to make everyone around him feel it. So, stuck in Punxsutawney, he is relegated to living the same day over and over and over again - basically until he gets it right. Initially, he just doesn't care, and tries to manipulate everything. But then he realizes that maybe it is far better to live a life worthy of repentance.
The movie makes me ask, "what would you do if you had to live the same day over and over again?"
But then again, I realize that we don't have to live our lives over and over again, because of God's love for us. He has given us a great gift, Jesus Christ, so that we don't have to live that life of dismal corrosion. Each day is a new day in Christ, and each day is a gift. Which leads me to a more important question . . .
What are you doing with the gift of this day?
That's right, woodchuck-chuckers - it's GROUNDHOG DAY!
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